Welcome Fessey.
I hear you all to clearly. I joined SR yesterday - it had to be done.
I knew I had a drinking problem and was an alcoholic for along time! I always wanted to quit but always found an excuse why it wasn't the right time. Meanwhile, I'd smash minimum a half bottle of vodka a night - every night. I couldn't wait till just the weekends to drink - I needed my fix. Meanwhile, my marriage was in trouble - my wife was sick of my drinking and talking about leaving me - and taking my 11 month old little girl. Vodka was not worth losing my family. I needed to take control of this.
I found this website and followed it for a few months until I made my comittment and stopped!
I'm only 2 days sober - but you gotta start somewhere!
Congratulations on your decision.