Welcome to our family.
I'm in the UK too.
Its nice to have you here.
I know that awful feeling of having to apologise to everyone after drinking.
I've engineered rows so that I can justify my drinking or drink more.
I used to cobble together one or two days then go back.
I think it finally hit me last Christmas when I realised that if I did not want to I never had to feel like that again.
All I had to do was not drink that first drink.
If I did not have that first drink, I could not get drunk.
At first it was strange not to drink, but as the days stacked up, I can honestly say it would seem strange to sit and drink all night.
I now have 329 days and no-one is going to get in the way of me getting to a year.
I did it by getting busy, getting off the sofa and smashing my favourite glass. I did exercise, cleaning, sorting junk out for car boot sales, drank a lot of hot chocolate, organised a lot of rooms, sorted the office, caught up with friends, went for long drives with loud music.
It seems like drink is starting to impact on your life and your loved ones lives.
Don't let it go any further.
Come here and post and vent your problems and celebrate your success. I learnt a lot about alcohol from sober recovery that I never ever knew.
Good luck with what you want to achieve and however you go about achieving it.
xx