mamkit, i know what you mean about avoiding coming here...i wasn't here much the last month. i was like you worrying that i'd be focusing on it more than i should by coming here. i was wary of thinking about it too much. not being here didn't stop any of that anyway!!
i read somewhere before (anthony de mello, awareness) that fear is the core of all anger. so anger is definately important, like a fight or flight instinct, it shouldn't be ignored or internalized.
i came back here a few days ago after two weeks of going crazy! i was sooooo angry and just wanted revenge, and was determined to do something i know would have ruined xabf's life... after posting about it and getting a small few replies from great people here who understood my situation from an outside perspective, i changed my mind...and am so glad i did. anger is important but understanding it is equally important... and maybe coming here is about you more than him.. xox