Great topic!
I read something recently that really helped. Anger is your alarm system, it lets you know something is wrong and in no uncertain terms. And just like an alarm, once it has your attention you turn it off and figure out what is wrong.
For me the easiest way to turn off the alarm is to take a couple of deep breaths or say a mantra in my head. Step 1 for me always has to be stopping myself from jumping straight onto the hamster wheel of my own compulsive behavior.
The mantra that works best for me is 'thank you Amida Buddha'. To me the Amida Buddha is my personification of reality-as-it-is and by saying thank you I am switching it from anger to a gratitude.
It was hard at first but like anything else it got easier with time. In fact I use that mantra anytime I feel myself letting the sound of my own wheels drive me crazy.
Your friend,