Originally Posted by BabyJane

Quitting for the boyfriend is sweet but I believe that in order to stay stopped you might want to go deeper into this than your relationship and your physical appearance. Both of those might help you remain sober for a while but you keep going back to alcohol and pills.

For me, alcohol and pills were my only providers of security for a long time. When I didn't have them I became aggitated, fearful, sad, very insecure, and just overall miserable. I also had a financee who I tried many times to quit for (and his two children who I cared for also) but I always had a crisis and had to go back to my coping mechanism eventually. I am also someone who suffered from an eating disorder; my weight was a huge concern and I GAINED a lot after first getting sober because I was also using narcotics. It was scary and I felt really helpless.

Eventually, I lost the guy and lost a lot of other things to my habbits. I ended up in jail and in hospitals and rehabs too. It took a few years before I really surrendered. If you're ready to surrender that means you will be willing to stay sober no matter WHAT. Are you there yet?

I hope you can explore some options like AA or Smart Recovery because maybe you need help? Maybe you can't do it alone? I sure can't. Keep coming to SR and I hope you can stay sober and be HAPPY as you journey forward.