I picked ANOTHER bad person to date...guhh how am I so good at this?? I seriously need to be on a gameshow called "How to Destroy Your Life."
I've been dating my partner for 6 months now, going on 7. I moved in a month ago to help her out since her roommate left. Since I moved in, I have learned that she is an alcoholic. I had no idea she was addicted to alcohol...She effectively hid it from me and portrayed herself as just someone who liked to kick back on the weekend with a couple of drinks, no big deal. Wrong. It's totally a humungous deal. She has this breathalyzer and when she drinks, she will blow into it for sh*ts and giggles to see how effed up she is. Well, she always blows around a .30 which means she should be blacking out. Last week she blew a .39 which means she should have been in a coma.... but she wasn't! She was up and walking around, only looking like she was tipsy. This is terrible to see anyone do to themselves! I don't understand it. Why would you want to kill yourself like this? She tells me she doesn't want to die and she just drinks to relax...
Another big issue besides her impending death due to alcohol poisoning is that I recently realized that I want to have a baby in the future. I don't want to have my baby around an alcoholic. She isn't mean or violent to me while she is intoxicated, but it is still dangerous and not exactly the best, most ideal situation to raise a child in! Plus, she doesn't even want to have kids...
We have totally different goals in life and ways of living.... I thought maybe we could make it work if she got help for her drinking, but she won't. She says counseling won't help and is not interested in AA meetings. Also, she doesn't seem to be budging on the baby issue. But I would never want to try to convince someone that they need help or that they should be a mother. Decisions like those are ones that you have to make on your own, regardless of what others try to tell you.
I really need to break up with her and move away. But the thing is, I can't right now. I don't have money for a deposit or a moving truck or monthly rent or even a place to go. I have no idea where to live or what to do.
