Hi Conga
Well, my infinite wisdom comes from 28 years of marriage out of my 50 years alive. Now that I am sober, I don't think I could live with a woman who drinks.
Maybe you somehow become a better person when you drink, and your wife misses that personality. I became belligerent when drunk. Maybe she also has a drinking personality that you can live with. My first wife would have done anything to support sobriety, and my second wife is now sober with me.
Good luck! I live nearby--holler if you need help!