LMN, ah ha moment! Yes perhaps that is very much so a contributing factor that I did not consider! Thanks for that!
Z77, yes you are correct! Many times, often doing the right thing does not feel good at the time, but alas the end results do! Its brings to mind that of preparing for a race, training for that probably sucks, all the hard work endless work and painstaking commitment for something that you want real bad. To win or at least a chance to win. And after all the blood, sweat and tears comes the moment of realization of the hard work and the pay off! A chance to win the gold medal! And the personal growth and satisfaction one obtains from the whole process! So my "race" is taking care of me, getting to know and love me. Doing what is necessary to get the results I desire. Living a peaceful, healthy life. And surrounding myself with folks of like mind. Taking care of me! Something I did not really know how to do well or at all in many areas until I began a 12 step program!
Thank you again so very much I feel a sense of purpose and direction and motivation and a little more at ease with my decision! Thanks a million all!