I think it's natural around the holidays to "romanticize the past". I know that I have been personally wobbling in terms of NC with the X. I sometimes drift into the fantasy that he'll have an epiphany (at 62, with a 40 year drinking history) and realize that he and I could have a wonderful, sober, peaceful life together.
Then I wake up. In reality, I get texts (from the man who always HATED texting) proclaiming how I am the only one, and he'll never give up. When we do have some limited contact, it's mostly the same BS; I'll call you later....Um, does that mean later today, or this decade? Maybe we'll get together soon and do something......Am I supposed to be chasing him to set this up (a prior flaw of mine)?
It is playing with fire for me, but ultimately may be helpful for me to see exactly how his words and actions just don't line up.
I think that if I want to have a romantic interlude, I'll watch "Love Actually".
Good luck to all.