I agree with others' advice, there are a lot of resources out there, both in person and offline. This forum is a terrific resource. Each day there are very small steps to take to redirecting your self, and let each small step sustain the next. Soon you will be amazed at the difference and the scope of change.
We all have human dignity, love and value. No amount of drinking or trouble can take that away. Hugs to you, and keep posting! You are doing great just reaching out for help from us!