Originally Posted by pkrma
And I'm getting alot of satisfaction out of life while I'm sober because I have the motivation to do the stuff that makes my life feel more meaningful.
Agreed, yes me too. But the flip side of this is that I made sure my abstinence (sobriety if you like that term) is not
contingent on things being better and more satisfying. Eventually, there would come a time (and there did) that things were not good in my life. Times when I lacked motivation, times when fear, pain, grief and anger visited me and often stayed way too long for comfort. I made sure that even during these times drinking would never be an option. No matter what...drinking is not an option.
Originally Posted by jazzfish
Coming to grips with the fact that my sobriety will always be completely based on the decisions I make in my life was a very liberating turning point.
Me too. Extremely liberating.
Also, what has helped me a great deal is studying Buddhism. Most specifically how the Buddhists manage hinderances. The concept of sitting with, and even leaning into, discomfort as opposed to fighting it or running from it has been of great interest to me. I'm not a scholar or a yogi. I don't wear a hair shirt or anything, but studying as a lay person has allowed me a shift in thinking that has given me much more freedom than I've ever known before. Many of these principles (compassion, equinimity, interconnectedness, fearlessness) are found across philosophies and religions and eras.
Also you might want to read about AVRT. It's not a "program", but rather a set of specific strategies designed for ending addiction. Some very valuable stuff there.
I believe the problem was within, and so was the answer.