Head down
I joined these boards quite a time ago. Long story short I completely fell of the wagon. As I am writing this I am hungover from new years and have never been more depressed in my life.
I know that alcohol isn't the answer and that my real issue is finding meaning in life. It has simply been so long that I have lived in a chemical altered state I have no idea how. It boggles my mind thinking about spending a full 24 hours sober. I don't know what to do with myself and can't even imagine any happiness without being hammered. I am so lost.
Thank you to anyone who reads this for letting me talk. I just am completely lost. I know many recommend AA but I found nothing there that supported me or made me want to be sober. I am scared, terrified really. Anyway happy new years to everyone