The demons inside are sometimes our addiction side talkin to us. I know it is easy to say let go, but I have had to let things go also. I can't change what happened in the past and neither can you. All we can do is apologize, move on and become the best people we can be by being sober and working on ourselves to make us better.
I am sorry you are in pain and yes it is scary to face ourselves, but you might find that you can acutally learn to love yourself. That is important for you and your family. You deserve it and so do all of us.