Seeking forgiveness from myself
I am struggling beyond belief, I hate myself for all the pain I've caused those I love. I have a chance to have a good life but i keep ******* up I blame myself for my mothers death and I don't know how to get past that. Everyone says I need to let go- if I let go then what do I have to hold on to. I'm really trying to find a way to see positive in my life but the Demond's trapped inside of me keep me in the dark. I don't know what to do
I'm 26 I started using at 11 and was raised around drugs and drinking I thought this was normal. A part of me wants nothing more then to be a good wife and sister but I'm painfully stuck in this cold place my journey has brought me to. I am scared of actually doing my 4 th steP, i will have to face myself and accept that this was all caused by my actions I don't think I can bare to face the whole real truth in black and white I already hate myself I know it's going to tear me apart I was told I must work it to get better but I don't know if is possible