Popping the bubble
I live in a bubble or at least I used to. I struggle to break out of it. I am finding that staying sober for longer than a few days at a time makes this bubble real. Like I can finally see it from the other side and look in.
Now that I am not going to the bar all the time I see that there is a whole world I shut myself off from. I mean I would just come home from work with those butterflies in my stomach in anticipation of going directly across the street to drink. The excitement, I thought, of that first one.
I have to fight to see the bubble and not allow myself to settle into its warmth.
I even have a bubble with, what was, my relationship. We created this safe place for us from all that we didn't want to deal with. That safety was recently shattered. But the desire to run back into the bubble is strong.
My sober voice is the loudest voice in my head now. It's the only one that I allow myself to hear. I hear the others... Lol... so to speak... But I ignore them.
This is a very very special new year for me. People say sometimes they wish they could go back in time and know what they know now.
Well I know what I know now. And I am starting this next year right.
Happy sober new year SR! Thank you for your continued help and support!
Ken