I have been to two al anon meetings. I just wasn't comfortable there, and I think a different venue may help. Does he want to stop drinking? Yes and no, I think. I know that he needs to stop for himself, and he says that too, but I also know that he needs to stop for us, and he says that as well. Personally, I don't care which. Is it wrong of me to be selfish like that? I don't hound him about his drinking. It's just that sometimes I pick up on behaviors that concern me, and since I can't tell the difference between him being honest or not... The breathilizer was actually his idea. I don't think he expected me to take him up on it, though. I know that I can't stop him from drinking, but I have to take steps to protect myself. I do love him, and I don't want a divorce. But I am having a difficult time, I guess, forgiving and trusting him. Is what I want even possible?
I will visit the Friends and Family section, as soon as I figure out how to navigate through here. I really appreciate y'all, even though I've just sorta met you. I'm typing through tears right now, but it's good to know that I'm not alone.