I deal with a bit of your situation - BPII, anxiety, OCD, depression with RAH. I also agree that the anxiety, depression and OCD being the result of family dysfunction. "I can't help it" was a common comment in our home for a looooonnnggg time, too long. Certainly my heart strings were pulled and I am still sympathetic for the emotional abuse RAH still deals with but enough. I don't accept that lame excuse anymore at some point one has to accept it is what it is - and you don't get a free ride in life (to say, do, and not do) because of it.
There are good and bad doctors everywhere - these people have no more power to help your husband than you or I do. Someone who goes in with the attitude that they want changes are the people who succeed. Its easy to turn it back on the professionals and say they aren't doing their job - AH isn't doing HIS job. Those meds are worthless without taking them properly.
Based on everything you have written starting with that he thinks he can drink every once in while.........he isn't with the program he's just going through the motions.
Did you make some boundaries for yourself when he came back from rehab and are you sticking to them?