Originally Posted by
LoveMeNow 
Just a word of caution. Many rehabs and Dr's diagnosis way too early.
I have read and heard many people's horror stories about many misdiagnosis (bipolar, pd, schizo affective disorder, ADHD) when in early recovery.
I can imagine that's so, but my H has been correctly diagnosed with a PD by 2 different therapists, none which knew of the prior diagnoses. My sister, also a therapist with over 20 years of experience, has concurred with the dx...and she's known him from the beginning of our relationship. H's PD is quite obvious to those who are "in the biz". To lay people like me, some of the behaviors just seemed a bit odd. I didn't know that they were big red flags for a PD.
BHW - What is in this relationship for you? It sounds like you must walk on eggshells all the time having to be careful what you say - at the same time personified by your husband in a negative and untruthful way to his family.
The relatives issue is annoying but since they aren't really in our lives it hasn't been a huge deal for me until they convinced him to file for divorce. (I haven't seen or spoken to any of them in 7 years...last time I saw them was for a few hours at FIL's memorial service). Yes, part of me would like to "set the record straight", but I have to be patient with that. I really think that time is on my side. When H was staying with them for 2 months during his day-patient rehab, they did get some glimpses of unreasonable behavior....so they are now more aware that he's no angel. He stayed with them during the Presidential Election and was very argumentative with them about the candidates, issues, etc.
When H was drinking, I did have to walk on eggshells all them time because the effects of alcohol made his PD much worse. Since he's not drinking now, his PD is much less of a problem. For instance, if he was drinking, we never could have had yesterday's discussion without it escalating into a big deal. Instead, the whole thing was like 2 minutes...and then we went and got something to eat.
On a slightly related note: I'm a little disappointed with one aspect of H's rehab. It seemed to have done little-to-nothing to help adjust back to the real world. H had a LOT of freedom during his rehab days. At first, he attended daily sessions Mon - Friday from 9am - 3pm (weekends off). But then sessions quickly were reduced to a few half-days a week and then down to one half-day a week. So the rest of his time was spent sleeping in, going to the gym, watching TV....essentially not doing anything productive. It was too much like a very long vacation. So, now it's been a little hard for H to adjust being back in the work world.