Welcome Alecia !
I think we've all asked ourselves that question at one time or another. I know that it was making me crazy. I knew I was being treated badly but I couldn't get out of it. I didn't know why.
I figured out why and it didn't have anything to do with him. My mind had been messed up so badly that I just needed to take some time to straighten out my thinking.
If you stick around here or try an Alanon meeting, you can begin to figure out why you stay. Keep reading and posting and it will get better.
If he's abusing you, I suggest you stay away from him while you work on it. Your safety is the first priority. Your sanity is the second one.
I'm glad you're here.
L