Welcome to SR
Over the years I've proven to myself beyond doubt that trying to fill the emptiness within us by using drugs or alcohol is like pouring a wheel barrow of concrete into the Pacific ocean, it just never fills up.
Personally, recovery involves every aspect of my life, for every aspect was affected by my substance abuse. I simply could not be happy with who I was so I desperately tried to fill my inner void with any outside measure available. Many times we focus strictly on substance abuse, which is appropriate in the beginning of recovery, for we need to clear our minds of any foriegn substances to then see the areas of our lives that are lacking that which we try to find in alcohol or drugs. It's a daunting task, but we can help ourselves through the abyss by letting others help us. To me, going to a meeting is not all about the steps, or the program, for that turned me off in the beginning. What I had to learn and accept was that the meetings I went to were filled with people who were struggling with or learning to manage the same things I was struggling with. It's that common bond that helps us the most and keeps us in touch with our new found friends. I've never met many people in bars that would extend a hand and offer to help, but recovery involves just that, the shared assistance of all those we meet in meetings who just want to help us get better.
Each of us have our own crosses to bear, made worse by our attempts to escape reality, but engaging with those who have born those same crosses seems to make them much lighter and manageable. That's why a meeting tonight would be a great idea.
Just a thought, smoking crack just ain't that great of an idea, lol.