Why can't I just be done with him?!
I'm new here and need advice. I've been with my alcoholic/addict boyfriend for 3 years now and it has been hell. When we first met he was working the program and a terrific responsible person. A few months later he was drinking again and it gets worse every year. I've put up with his progressively heavy drinking (18 pack beer a day...and that's during the week) and a new found coke/crack addiction, also his "friends" who he lets invade our house and hide in my bathroom and bedroom to shoot up or smoke crack. I leave him every couple months and then he promises me things will change, and dumbass me i believe him and go back.
Well a month ago i lost it and flipped out on him and his "friends" for disrespecting me again and begged them to just go or i would call the police ...they wouldn't listen and starting threatening me...so i grabbed the cellphone and ran out called the police and his friends were arrested for possesion. They let him stay (becasue we are on the lease together and they didn't find anything on him) and it's been a nightmare ever since. I'm in and out of the house (staying with my mom) mostly when he' sober but he's lost his job and now i'm stuck with all the bills (which weren't getting paid anyway). His only other friend is a complete heroin junkie and the people who i had arrested are out of jail now and want their party house back with me out of it. And he lets this go on. I mean he complains about his friends problems (which he thinks are more significant then his) and disrepectfullness but then has them over anyway. Who does that?
Well my problem is that i just can't let go. I want to be done with him and all this crap ALL the time but i always find myself back there. I don't know why i continue to put myself through this abuse. My mother went through it for years with my dad and i swore i never would let a man treat me this way and i do! I'm staying with her right now but i'm just afraid i'll buy his crap again and end up back there. How do i stay away?!!
I feel if i go back there i won't survive it to leave again. He's started physically abusing me now.