Thank yor for posting this. I didn't remember many Happy Christmas moments growing up either.
My mother had me at an early age and we were very poor. I remember being at my grandparents (also poor) when I was very young and another young relative was there.
One of the local organization knocked on the door Christmas Eve and gave the young relative a tricycle. They looked at me and said we didn't know you were here or we would have brought you one too.
At school the teachers would ask each student what they had received for Christmas and I would lie about receiving gifts, I could not understand why Santa gave so much to some children and I was receiving nothing. I felt like I was doing something very bad and I wasn't really sure what it was. To this day I am not fond of telling children that Santa brings gifts. I taught my children that Santa was the spirit and goodwill towards others during this season. The gifts came from me.
My mother gets angry when any of my siblings tries to talk about our past and our poverty. But, all of us are just trying to come to terms with it, no blame. Communication in our family is still difficult sometimes!
I started school at 5 and had a birthday soon after. The teacher was startled that I did not know it was my birthday - but I had never been told and it was not celebrated.
As an adult my experience has made me aware of the many children growing up in poverty and my husband and I are generous givers.
My belief is that as hard as I had 'it' my mother had 'it' harder!