Wow, I think I just figured out a trigger from this post from when I was about 9 my step-dad at the time had bought my brother who is 2 years younger than me a new bike for Christmas, our dad had gotten my brother a simple lil train set and step-dad got so mad because brother was so happy over the train set that he stomped it to pieces and beat my brother.
So glad those days are over now to work through the memories and let it go.