lilgolden73

Day started off not so bad, got up, got a shower, figured out I was having a good hair day and then headed to church. Then I had to run down to my hometown and get a washer and dryer from a family member, my uncle was there and he gave me the cold shoulder, I was in no mood so he and the rest of the dysfunction can BITE ME! Keep in mind I am trying at this point to figure out how I am going to get some wine because today of all days I needed it, but I didn't want a whole bottle, I wanted just one little mini bottle, then I couldn't figure out where to get one and it seemed like too much work so I promptly talked myself out of it....THEN I went back and forth with myself on whether to visit the cemetery and see my loved ones, I don't know if it's luck, but my grandparents who raised me and my hubby are buried with in feet of each other, makes visiting easier, which is a stupid word as there is nothing easy about talking to stones. Anywho, I first visited my hubby, it was awkward as half the time in our marriage it was rare to have a normal conversation, so what was the point now, I kept it together, then I walked over to see my gma and gpa and immediatly lost it. They were the ones I ran to when life got too be too much to deal with and I honestly have never felt more alone. NOW I have a headache, I popped some Ibuproferen, we will see how that goes, because I am really wanting a glass of wine. I realize this won't fix anything, but DAMN....I deserve a glass or 2 just for the hell of it!!! GRRRRR.....

Here is the poem I put on FB for my hubby today:


2 years gone is way too long
You not being here seems so wrong
We miss you more than words can say
But know we will see you again someday
Please know that just because we smile
And seem to be happy for awhile
Something in our hearts is always missing
and you still here is what we are wishing


I know it's a dumb poem....but hey life is a big DUMB MESS!!!