((TJP)) - Awww, sweetie, I can only imagine how much this hurts.
However, let me put this in perspective (maybe) from the A's view. When I was using, Christmas was "just another day". Though I did realize what day it was, my MO was "get drugs, get high, get numb".
Now, I will tell you...I had major twinges of remorse that I wasn't with family, but I drowned it with drugs. Even when I was new to recovery, I wasn't quite ready for the "family thing".
Your son knows you love him. Of that I have no doubt. He may not like the consequences, and I know they hurt YOU, but IMO, you are doing amazing! Remember...part of my bottom was realizing my family was going on with their lives, regardless of what I did.
I can also say that those times my dad hunted me down and took me to lunch at the park? Priceless
I don't recommend that for people, but my dad is a codie and he only did it a few times a year. I HATED it at the time, as it ripped my heart out to see what I was putting him through, but now that I'm in recovery, I respect and appreciate it.
So, maybe have lunch with him? If he whines about not being allowed home, I would calmly remind him HIS actions led to that decision. You didn't kick him out, you let him deal with the consequences of his action.
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy