Originally Posted by
MrsLamp 
Please help, always been scared to join but I am getting worse very quickly now,bottle of vodka every night between us, feel and look like death, but cannot stop! I thought I could do this alone and I was different its taken a while for it to dawn on me that you all were right and I was wrong. I feel like 2 people, the one just now is the hungover drunk in the stained jammies, the other is the person who goes in to work all made up and chirpy and helpful, they must see how yellow my eyes are, I can't keep this up much longer, I hate my job now like everything else but I know deep down that it is because of the drink I hate everything. I am so sorry to go on, this was just going to be a short post, but I would really like to join and see what its like to face life sober. I am living a lie, always lying and pretending everything is fine and its not. I used to be so strong. sorry again for going on. Thanks for reading best wishes to you all on here.
Wow, MrsLamp. I could have posted this before I quit drinking. You can turn this around. YOU CAN! You are in charge of that!
I always thought I hated my job bc of alcohol too. When we sober up and start living instead of just surviving we have a chance to see who we really are. I realized I hate my job of five years even when sober. I stayed there for 5 years bc I was fogged up from alcohol. I quit drinking and at around 60 days sober I quit. I moved closer to family after that.
I also thought I just hated life and myself when drinking. I don't sober. Turns out I love life and all it has to offer. I laugh. I talk to people. I don't have anxiety anymore. The depression vanished. My physical appearance changed for the better. I lost 10 pounds. My liver is happy! Turns out I am a pretty kool chic
Point is you can stop this but you HAVE TO stop drinking! Once you make it past the first week of WD stuff will start falling into place.
Just stop drinking and things will start happening.
Your post touched me. :ghug3 Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself. Start making changes and start living!!
Start with AA, SR and a doctor. I did all that plus some. I couldn't do it alone!!!!! I tried and failed miserably many times! I was willing to do whatever the heck I had to to stop drinking. You have to put in the effort. It is SOO worth it. This is your life....the only one you get!!!!