My hat goes off to you. Our codependency( OHHHH ) Atleast you are learning and sounds like you are doing it. Learning to Love YOU. When I hear how after yrs of been with AH/ABFs and enduring sooo much this is whats helping me realize I made the right decision to broke off my engagement/relationship and start taking care of Me. I can see that when you are married you suppose to stand by your spouse but in my case, I have to take care of me first so this is why letting go is still hard but going to the meetings and been on here is helping me., He truly can't love me and Now I'm learning that dependency was a part of us hooking up. It's like there is this HUGE NEON sign that tells the addict/alcoholic where and who to look for, Maybe we pull from eachother. Hurting people hurt people...