tjp, may I offer another thought? We and our Addicts are programmed by the past. His behavior under your roof most likely would continue because "do what you know". I speak entirely from experience here
. My son was kicked out of the house , then brought back, then he moved out, then he pleaded to come back. In each scenario, there were a few good weeks, then the normal behaviors of my codependency and his sneaking around, lying, stealing would begin. This relationship was so toxic, it nearly cost my family.
I also hurt that I won't see JJ for Christmas (he is still in jail), but if he was out, I would still not allow him in the home until I see an entirely different programmed response. That will come from his embracing his sobriety.
I should have asked earlier, aren't you allowed to see him at the SLE or the rehab ?
Hugs for you during this hard time.
Love
TT