Hello, This is my first post. I'm my family scapegoat. My father is an alcoholic.I don't know if my mum is aswell....I can't work her out. I'm in my 30's now. I'm not sure where to begin with my past. But I can tell you when my future started. It was 18 months ago when I tried but failed to kill myself. I spent alot of my life being depressed and suffering with scary psychotic anxiety. At the same time doing a typical acoa thing....no one had a clue ...ever...how bad things were. I didn't even realise myself. Anyway, since the day I tried to end it, i've tried to make big big changes. Im trying to deal with all the acoa issues. I'm also on medication which i love cos it keeps me going and allows me to be relatively normal
My friends mean so much to me but what i'm finding the hardest is some of my best friends who have met my mum and dad think they are so lovely and just don't get why i have cut them off. That's the hardest thing. Because my friends are now my family. Alot of my friends get it. But my best friend who was there for me after my 'attempt' thinks my family are so nice and i think she thinks i'm more than a bit mad for cutting off these lovely people. This post may seem not that bad, but I will go into more detail later, and I feel pretty rubbish right now. Anyway, thanks for listening
