((BabyJane)) - I felt the same way in early recovery. I kept reading "do a gratitude list" (I was lurking here" and my first gratitude "list" was said through gritted teeth and included a soft bed and pillow to sleep on. I'd recently been in jail and NOTHING was soft there.
In time, I made myself look for more to be grateful for...pretty flowers, kids laughing, just simple stuff. Sounds too simplistic, but it really did help.
You've got a lot on your plate, right now, but you can do this. We'll be here to cheer you on or lend you a shoulder to cry on, if you need it.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy