Originally Posted by
GirlFromCO 
I had been thinking about drinking a lot for a while and just could never shake the feeling
that things were different now and I should be able to handle myself better... answers to my question of why couldn't I drink now were basically "because I said so" reasons and I wasn't really satisfied with them...
It feels peaceful to really know that I can't drink, sort of like how making the big plan or statement or whatever felt for a few days. Only now I know it's not just because TU said so
What I'm reading between the lines here, GirlFromCO, is you saying in a roundabout way that if you
could drink, that you
would, indeed, drink. Is that correct?
That, in itself, is your Addictive Voice (it supports and suggests drinking), and the whole "I can't drink" line of thinking is a trap, set to spring at a later date, when your AV inevitably chimes in and suggests that "things are different" now.
Can you see this?