I have been where you are. A few times. You don't have to do this alone. The reason you want to drink is because you haven't found a better way to cope with these terrible feelings. I don't know anyone who got better without the help of at least a dictor, family member, friend.... Is anyone there for you? Anyone you can call? I hope you feel better. If you do drink, I hope you make it back. I'll still be here. Maybe we can do this thing together.
