Thanks to everyone who took the time to read / reply to this post. I'm sorry it wasn't more positive. I am still sober and today is almost over. I think Natom has a point; just because we get sober, things aren't guaranteed to be good or even ok. Sometimes things are awful. I know picking up won't solve my problems, I just wish I knew how to cope better. I realize it will come in time if I keep working hard and stay clean.
I'm sitting in the airport waiting for my delayed flight and I'm just going to close my eyes for a minute and try to relax. Try to think if things I CAN be grateful for. I do have a few. We all have a things to be thankful for even when it's bleak. Have a good night everyone and stay warm.