Liz, I know I've been hard on you sometimes, and I regret some of my harshness. It's clear you're making progress.
I was thinking the other day about me and my AH, who just -- after many years of un- and under-employment -- finally got a good job with good pay, after I kicked him out after this last relapse, of course. I know that if I invited him back home, he'd be there within the evening. He's doing pretty well. To my knowledge he's sober and working a program. But there's a part of me that doesn't know how I feel about him and what the future of our marriage looks like living with alcoholism, or even with recovery. And yet there's another part of me, a BIG part of me, that wants him to come home because I'm so tired of shouldering the financial and practical burdens of a household alone. I might, still. I really might.
So, in short, we're all on a journey. Sometimes (I'd posit most times) our judgement towards others is really about ourselves.