Damn.
Sending a hug and a prayer buddy, so glad you didn't ask for advice because I'd be stumped.
The other day I suggested that maybe doing nothing for a little while would be a good idea. One thing that comes thru loud and clear is that it's ripping your guts out and I still see that awful image of my wife in the hospital after her self detox ended with a seizure and heart attack.
I'm glad she is in the hospital where she can get help and you can sleep at night.
Is there any hard deadline for figuring this out right now? Doesn't sound like you could be at peace with engaging or withdrawing right now. Hurts to think about. Thanks for sharing, will keep following and praying for you both