Welcome to SR.....glad you found us. SR is like a daily dose of meeting stuff. There is so much collective wisdom here.
I agree that it sounds like you've got things pretty well down. You aren't sending her money and you're making suggestions that state your position clearly. You're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.
Allowing someone we love to reach a bottom so low is very difficult......but it is what allows them to feel the full consequence of the lifestyle that addiction has led them to. My son is an addict and watching him lose everything (and I mean that quite literally-- everything he owns has either been pawned or stolen), coming close to death (via a brutal beating)......and STILL going back out there to use is the hardest thing I have ever witnessed.
He is currently in the Salvation Army's adult rehab program as we refused to pay for any more treatment (four times was more than enough). He is there by his choice.
Working the steps through Nar-Anon and Al-Anon helped me to help myself. I'm hopeful but without expectation. I pray and meditate daily. I spend time here on SR almost every day for a little while. And then I go about my day. I am able to concentrate, laugh and live life.
Encouraging people to allow their loved one to feel the consequences of their lifestyle is risky. We all know that death is a possible outcome of drug addiction. That's why the program gently suggests that we give it up to the God of our understanding......we simply aren't powerful enough and dealing with this stuff alone is simply more than we can bear.
As I was driving my son to the Salvation Army he said to me....."Mom....I've heard people say Godspeed......I understand what that means now......and it doesn't necessarily mean fast."
Take care of you.....and leave the rest to your HP. Godspeed.
gentle hugs
ke