Originally Posted by
h00ped 
OK so now I have a question - what do you think about the show Intervention. Is it codependent behavior for them to say if you don't get help today we will never talk to you again? Sounds like controlling attempt to motivate someone to finally do something.
I think that an intervention is a last ditch co-de attempt by a group of people. Maybe the reason it is slightly more likely to work is because the addict sees a bunch of people who care about them saying the same thing at once. And they are all saying, "this is it. accept the help we are suggesting/offering or we can't participate in this anymore." Addicts are REALLY good at manipulating their loved ones' feelings one-on-one....it's the dance we do so well. But if the addict is close to conceding defeat & they see all of these people lined up, usually with a pro there to not allow the dance to start....maybe it works.
I think you have a really good point about it being co-de, but many addicts really DO want a way out, and maybe this pushes some of them over the edge. Obviously some of them storm out & then it's up to the room full of co-de's to make good on their promise/threat.
No addict worth their designation as one will change unless people stop doing things for them & they are faced with the consequences of their decisions, habits, etc.
I type all of the above from both sides of the fence....recovering addict and recovering co-de
I hope you find strength & peace.....there's lots of support for us here & in the rooms!