Originally Posted by
h00ped 
So this is the first time I've laid down a boundary of no contact for 7 days in an attempt to show XABF (who was in recovery this time last year but has sadly returned to the bottle 6 months ago and is clearly on a downhill slide) that if he doesn't recommit to treatment, he will lose my involvement in his life (support, shoulder to lean on, etc).
The boundary that you stated appears to be a control to change his behavior. That is a codependent trait that I recognize from my own codie behaviors.
Boundaries are I statements about what you will and will not accept in your personal life. Like: I will not spend time/energy with an active alcoholic. That involves me removing myself from spending time with someone who chooses to drink in an alcoholic manner. It doesn't mean I am trying to change their behaviors.
What steps are you taking to work on your own personal recovery?
I just came across a note I have in one of my Al Anon books: Stop concerning myself with how my actions affect ______. My actions are what I am doing to take better care of ME.
Alanon meetings are something I do to help myself become a healthier participant in all my relationships. Reading self-improvement books like "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie has helped me to learn how to work on my codie behaviors.
I also recommend Codependent No More for the excellent chapter on grieving. She writes about the stages of grieving with great clarity. Grieving the loss of a relationship is just as real as grieving loss due to death.