Thanks for all the kind words.
I've tried to get him to sign over at least a guardianship to me, but he refuses. I asked him about it today and was told we *might* discuss it again after tax season (he wants that tax deduction). He'll find another excuse then.
I've contacted a lawyer, but NC is a tough state to win non parental custody in. She felt we had a chance, but not a great one, if we went to court. She was concerned (and rightly so) that if we went to court, brother would remove the child from my house, thus causing him some pretty rough trauma. I've contacted DSS and they will not intervene because the child is well cared for since he is living with me, to get their support I would have to place him back into his father's home and allow time for the situation to have an effect on the child. DSS told me that even then they are not likely to remove a child from biological parents unless the child has been "damaged" (their words, not mine)
Right now, I have NO legalities toward this child. I can take him to the Pediatrician, but only because this pediatrician knows me very well (he took out my appendix 30 years ago, lol). Other than that, NOTHING....hence I cant claim him on my taxes, I have nothing "legal" to prove to the IRS that he lives here.
I have spent thousands on this child, but have never given my brother a dime. I look forward to the day he loses his house (how awful it is to be in a situation to say that about my own brother).
Oh, how I wish I could go no contact with my brother. However, per my instructions from the custody lawyer, I am remaining on brother's "good side". I take the child to him ONLY when brother calls and asks to see him (which is blissfully not to often). I am making sure that all contact revolves around the care for this child, and that my brother initiates the contact.
My mother is strictly no contact at this point as is the rest of my family.
But, I feel that by making nice with my brother, I am letting brother feel that I am on his "side". I think he would have a better chance of recovery if I were to walk away, but by doing so I put this little boy at risk of being THERE.
Brother does have a court date tomorrow, hopefully he will be arrested for his probation violation (again, having to say that about my own brother).
I'm so frustrated with law enforcement......they keep slapping him on the wrist. I'm so frustrated with the child protective services here...they tend to be a child rescue organization rather than a protective service.
I've had a couple people here suggest an Al Anon session........I'll be looking for those in my area. Thank you all for listening and for understanding. Strange as it sounds, it's nice to be understood by someone, finally.
:ghug3