When I realised that I hadn't imagined it, I was very angry and drank a lot. But I wish I would just go for a long dog walk or a run because the drink makes me more angry or just feel sorry for myself and cry.
I guess this is the journey though... learning to face things that hurt or are uncomfortable and not blank it out or try and take the 'edge' off.
I love my mum loads and we are very close but she wouldn't believe me at the time. I'm just glad that I could support my daughter and protect her.
For me dealing with 'properly' would destroy my mum, so me and my daughter sat down and decided that we wouldn't do that, I did give her the choice though.
But I never let her alone with him when he drinks.
And I know how ****** up that is btw. Life ain't easy.