Jeepr
I wanted to add - I just share my experience...but I'm a layman...I'm not a psychologist and never claim to be...
if you think you might be depressed, or if you feel you may need meds - you're the best judge of that. I never meant, and would never try to talk you out of that.
I can't judge how serious those self harm thoughts are either.
There's some really good reading here - and a lot of numbers for crisis lines...I hope you'll at least keep the link, and if you think you need it, maybe read a little
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
best wishes to you jeepr
D