With any relationship, once that line has been crossed, it is too easy to cross it again.
Abuse is like alcoholism; it's progressive.
Sometimes things aren't meant to last, including long term relationships. Next time, you may not survive. Love is not abuse.
Please go to the abused person's program in your area and become educated. Please seek counseling for your childhood abuse. Learn how to love you first and to love yourself well. No one deserves abuse in any manner. I know. I've been where you are.
I wish you well in whatever you choose.
With love and hugs and empathy,