Remorse is real, but staying stopped requires me to live in a new solution. It's not about telling others the stuff I did when drinking, that is for my 4th and 5th steps with my sponsor.
AA meetings exist so that a newcomer can find us and find a sponsor to work on the steps; to work on themselves.
Of course we regret our actions. Some of that is why we continued to drink, to push aside our bad feelings of shame, guilt and remorse. Those feelings only grew inside of us.
Maybe find an Al Anon group, find your own sponsor, and work your own 12 steps.
We can't control others, we can work on ourselves.
Meetings help us find others like us, but it's in doing work on self where we find the relief and freedom. Trying to hear the words we want, well, that's playing a power greater than ourselves.
Try moving forward with your own recovery. And yes, alcoholics do feel horrible for their actions.