Thanks sapling... I am new to this site so unsure how to go about doing the private message thing. I suppose I am just a bit hesitant about getting into the nitty gritty details of my problems on such an open forum. It is probably normal for oneself to think they have done the worst of the worst, but I do think that. In reality I think I am extremely lucky that I have not 'lost' everything. I have 'lost' nothing except for my sense of worth and true happiness (even as I type this I know that is a massive LOSS). But I also think that I don't feel this way all the time, there are many times that I feel I can manage my drinking, I do manage my drinking. But I also avoid the thoughts of what it is doing to my health. Even my mum (while she knows it is a problem) will still to this day offer me a glass of wine when I visit her for dinner.
I have looked up AA in my area and am worried that I will run into a client or someone I know. Lame excuse really but I am sh*t scared to go. Maybe I need to build up to it. I do have a problem expressing my emotions while sober.
Your help would be appreciated
