Not trying to sound unkind, but...you will continue to be a mess if you keep contact with him. You say he is your EX, yet you send him songs, go by his house, call him expecting him to answer, and when he doesn't, you get concerned, and generally appear to stay wrapped up in him.
You need to make a decision. He is either your EX, or you still want a relationship with him. Decide what it is you want, and then act accordingly.