So my XABF and I have been sending each other songs...and yesterday I sent him the song Goodbye (Secondhand Seranade) to describe how I was feeling...except it wasn't to say that I didn't want him in my life, but rather that I wanted to say "goodbye" to the old him, the alcoholic him. He didn't respond...3 hrs later I started getting worried that he took the song the wrong way, so I called...and he didn't pick up. Well, that sent me into a bit of a tailspin because I started worrying about how he took it, so I called again...no answer. So I happened to be near his house...so I went by. He wasn't home, and I called again...no answer.
He did text me later that night that he had been out and left his phone in the car and saw I had called, but he was on his way to practice now. He texted again twice this morning apologizing for not getting my calls and hoping I wasn't upset with him, that he wasn't ignoring me and loved me.
I talked with him this afternoon and told him what I was feeling (he was shocked that I had gone to his house...and upset that he hadn't been home...we haven't seen one another for about 5 weeks). He wants to see me, but said he's waiting until i'm ready for that. He hadn't even heard the song yet, but did say that he was a bit uneasy about it due to the title, so he was holding off on listening.
I'm shocked by these strong feelings coming out all of a sudden (I was doing so well!)...basically i'm a mess
