So what would happen if you do nothing for the moment?
You don't want to kick her while she's down or wind up down where she is again.
You don't want to retreat from the brutal decision to walk away and risk a repeat.
So what if you do nothing? If you just put things on hold for a few months you are still seperated and not sucked in. You won't be taking an action you are conflicted about.
Doing nothing feels good. Oh crap, I sound lazy there!
Doing nothing requires no effort for some people, for others it is pretty tough.
A wise friend will tell someone who just divorced or lost a spouse not to make any big decisions for a while. We second guess ourselves when we make big decisions at times of great stress - some we can take back, some we cant.
A resolution is obviously important to you, but only you know if it is urgent. Is the sale of the house urgent and important? Would a few months significantly harm or help?
Clearly this has shaken you and good lord - it shook me just imagining the hell you've been through - I can't imagine how hard it is for you to know the right questions let alone answers right now.
A few months from now she may solve this by confirming your decision to divorce or she may make it harder and you will have to arrive at a decision that makes you very sad even if she is the poster child for recovery. What if, but, maybe, what have I done.... Those can be tough words to have banging around your head.
If you did nothing but reset the date - neither engaging nor withdrawing but just standing pat until you resolve those feelings, do you think you would feel more at peace with your decision?
Just a thought, learning not to react right away helps me but you may be wired very differently.
I'm sorry you are going through this pain and glad you reached out to your friends here.
Also, I'm glad to hear that your wife is alive for her sake as yours. I pray that she gets well but even more I pray that if she does not then you don't have to witness it.
Good luck and take care of yourself. I'm sure the mixture of grief, relief, sadness, joy, hope, fear, guilt and resentment that this scenario must cause you is exhausting. Get some rest.