Originally Posted by
CowgrlInTheSand 
The first line of your post is a tough one. I know it's all true, but how do you help someone you love without abandoning them? Do we have to break up and change the relationship into solely a friendship for me to be able to help him?
The sad reality is that there isn't really anything you can do to help him get clean. The best course of action is to work the recovery program that you wish he would work. My sister (along with other family members) is a heroin addict. I can't help her get clean; no amount of love, talking, crying, anger, or sympathy will get her clean. It's ALL on her. She has to do that. I can only change myself and my response to her behavior. So what I am doing is working diligently on a program to help me come to terms with my own codependency, which allows me to interact with her in a manner that is more healthy
for both of us.
That way, when (if) she decides to really throw herself into recovery, I'll be a strong, healthy individual. Being surrounded by healthy, autonomous, happily sober individuals will improve her chances of success far more than all of the times I tried to save her combined. Because obviously those attempts failed miserably: for now she is choosing to use.