My wife was 3 months preggers with our 2nd when she made it clear enough to me that I had to go to rehab or lose the family. So she had the hormone fairy on top of all that very justifiable anger!! It was not pleasant for either of us. Her anger faded quicker than the wives of some of my rehab buddies probably b/c she saw me doing things differently: going to meetings, not lying, being present vs. weaselly & shifty, etc. When an addict is going to mtgs every day & taking them seriously, they can't help but change pretty quickly. The program does not allow our old ways of living.
The crazy part of this story & the reason I really wanted to answer you is that was over 9 yrs ago, and my wife just came out of rehab 6 months ago. So the tables are completely turned. We have very different memories of how angry she was nearly a decade ago!! I was really angry whey I sent her away, but I think I am able to let my anger fade easier b/c it looks like she's doing the right thing.
You KNOW what your husband looks like in junkie mode. If he starts looking/acting differently, take heart in that. It means he is changing. It's gonna take a while, so take comfort in the baby steps. And by all means, stay with Alanon. You were affected by his addiction & should not be angry or sad that you need support to get through this.
best to you,