KRA, sending you hugs and compassion. It's so so painful. I am in the midst of an episode that increasingly looks to be a breakup. Never mind that the relationship was problematic or toxic, the pain is still excruciating. I don't know when it will end and like you, Im desperately looking for answers to how to make it through. The pain is so all encompassing that I feel desperate for relief. Hearing friends and family congratulate me for this as if it is a victory exacerbates the pain.
A great suggestion someone recently suggested to me was to try not to search desperately for answers the way I described above. Instead, try not to treat healing from a breakup in such a heavy handed and overly serious way. Instead, she encouraged me to try to see the process as a long experiment. You try different approaches just to see what works, and don't get too hung up if one approach doesn't work. Just try another. Shop around for ways to take care of yourself. So hard not to have immediate results when you are hurting, but I do like the idea at least of a more relaxed approach to seeking solutions.
Sorry you are going through this. I wish you find some relief soon.